Campaign of the Month: April 2011

Planejammer: The Spelljoined


USED: 1 Holy Water, 1 Quick Freeze Oil, 2 Alchemist Fire, Wand Charges (2), Touchsight Tattoo
Scroll of Lesser Restoration

Mojo Points – 11

Lenata dimension doors over to Kenari and casts a healing spell for 27 points.
Vedis uses a maxed Wild Surged Energy Push = Cold for 63 damage and Leadership Surge.
Ef Utan flies at the giant with a Shocking Grasp spell. The giant drops to his knees and begs to yield as he drops his sword and Ef picks it up and carries it with him (+3 Giant Sized Great Sword).
Lenata casts Make Whole to fix Eturiko’s fan.

The flickering images on the wall slow down and stop as Finn and Kenari search the room for nothing. Down the hall there is a bright light ahead of us. No traps in the hallway. I take a sneaky peak around
the corner showing a spotlight shining down on a lucite platform with a stylized treasure chest with a complicated lock on it with a black velvet painting of the dungeon master behind it. I use my 5 Fingers Artifact
to pick the lock from a distance and hear the recording of an angelic chorus with streamers and confetti as the crowd chants “GO CAT GO!”


Imperial Banknote for 10,000 GP
Lightsaber handle / cheap hair brush thing
Wand of Cure Serious Wounds
2 Potions labeled “No Seeum” (Finn)
Certificate for a Year’s Supply for Empire’s Classic Car Wax
*Candy Apple Red Key*

Stream of Tickets: 350 Tickets (400 Total)

I messed with the lightsaber and it turns into different weapons based on what you’re thinking. Give to Ef or Etsuriko

We come to another Duck Ride and board it for another 75 ft and doors open to the beginning of the tunnel of love again. The room is the same but as we step out the room lights up and a huge amount
of confetti falls down from the ceiling. To our left opens a door to a corridor 30 ft before curving off to the side where there’s a big screen that lights up with DJ Faces holding a bat and a doll of Ef Utan before he smashes it like Punch and Judy.

Welcome to the Marrionette Show!

“Go CAT GO!” as I check the door for traps. I unlock the door and listen to hear squeaky pullies. Lenata casts Contagious Zeal on Ef Utan. Kenari opens the door for the others to go first.

80ft wide and 20ft deep room with curtains being retracted with a shimmer of force walls with bleacher seating of the audience. To the front is a semi-circular large stage.
Bright lights pop up on the stage with marionette harliquins and hands ending in blades. Behind them is a simple wooden chest.

Etsuriko puts away her fans and gets out her knunchucks. The marionettes dance around and then leap at us. “How about a little fire, scarecrow?” I throw Alchemist Fire for 6 on #4 and splash on the other.
Lenata casts Diamond Spray on #4. Etsuriko hits #4 with a crit knunchuck for an “Organ Scramble” and casts Confusion on it for 8 rounds and 5 points of CON damage.

Marionette #2 loses its belt and it’s pants fall down as it tries to attack Lenatta and goes prone. Ef cleaves the marionette #2 in twain with the “Huge Ass Sword.”

Ef takes 17 points of dmg from a marionette as he Bleeds 1 HP per round. The marionette then fumbles – and provokes attacks of opportunity from all threatening foes. Ef chops another one in half with the HAS and shouts “This is my new favorite toy!” as the crowd cheers and large
dwarf blows him a kiss and Ef returns it. The crowd goes wild! “GO BEAR GO!”

Finn shoots the one on fire #4 with the bow. It hits Finn for 20 pts and 2 Bleed.

Marionette #5 attacks me and just misses. Vedis crits #5 with her mind blades for 3x damage and ignore damage resistance.

Ef “Oh you got a name now, Chopper!” as he swings the HAS for 46 points and cleaves another marionette. “GO BEAR GO!” with a line of shirtless hairy men blowing kisses from the crowd.

  1. swings at Lenata as it burns and flails wildly and she gets hit.

I try to open the chest and a robotic hand swings out with a “Nah nah, not till your finished!” and a rasberry noise.

Finn hits the remaining #4 with more alchemist fire as it continues to burn. Ef jumps in front of Finn as a bodyguard and keeps Finn from being hit. Vedis casts Haste on Ef and Etsuriko.

Ef cleaves yet another marionette from bottom to top. “GASP!” from the crowd as Ef says “Be careful boys and remember, protected and consensual!” 3 15 ft tall women stand up and cheer.

  1. hobbles around on fire. Kenari pounces on it and cuts an arm off with her claws as she finished off #4. The crowd roars and a jingle as the chest says “OK now you can!”

The chest opens and the angelic chorus rings and light shines down into it to reveal in our names

1 year passes to the Imperial Opera of NY City.
2 potions of cure moderate
banknote for 5,000gp
mysterious ring
Cotton Candy Pink Key

A secret cellar door goes down to the area below the stage.

MEANWHILE – Melchior, Taj and Tavist are in the balcony with the crowd warming up to the group. Melchior has placed his bets, and is talking up the Spelljoinz and telling the epic tales of our adventures. Taj people watches and sees a segregation between the human and non-humans who are in the shittier seats. “Why are these people not in my collective? They are now mine, I called dibs! Why didn’t you bring them here before?”

Tavist = “The one with the big sword keeps saying I’m a dick!”
Taj= "But you are! Right? (nudges Melchior)
Melchior= “Um… yeah! Definitely!”
Tavist= “They’re your problem! Get a contract!”


Kenari examins the ring to see what it is. +3 Ring of Protection – give to Lenata.

I just manage to pick the lock of the cellar door and ready their weapons as I open the cellar door. “GO CAT GO!” There’s a splash of confetti with a dark narrow cute and a ladder that goes down 15 feet. with a closed door with light shining in a well lit hallway that ends in a door.
I listen at the door and hear accordian based circus music behind double doors.

Doors open to medium sized room with force walls and audience to left and right. Back wall i littered with stuffed animals and carnival prizes of various sizes. DJ faces has a comically huge mallet and whistles in time with the circus music. Behind him is a Carnival STR test.
He lets the mallet fall and bows. "Welcome to the first of my Bonus Rooms! Time to know who is the mightiest! But there are rules: THIS MALLET. 2 ATTEMPTS. ONLY 1 OF YOU.

Lenata casts Bull STR on Etsuriko and lets her use the mallet. She rings it on the 1st try – TITAN LEVEL. The center section of the back wall opens up with a chest in it. He congrats us and disappears.

Ef takes a Rainbow Bear from the stuffed animals and realizes it’s way heaver than it should be because it’s full of rocks. He fails his save and takes DEX damage as the walls close in on him.
I disable the wall trap and open the chest as they say "GO CAT – " before the chest is open. Lenata casts Lesser Restoration of Ef to take care of the DEX damage.

3 potions with labels that have Bulls on them. (Bull STR)
100 Tickets (500 total)

A door opens in the alcove with another hallway. We open the door to sad clown black velvet paintings and disco balls in another break room.

50 tickets – frosted comm. x-crawl mirror, stuffed animal, alchemist fire, holy water, 10 m arrows
100 – 10 +1 arrows
200 – m broadsword, cure lt wounds potion
400 – cure serious wounds potion

*Purchased 2 alchemist fire – for 100 tickets

The lights flicker oddly and we all have to make Will Saves. When they come back up, everyone around us is frozen, including Vedis. We look around to see if anyone is moving – Tavist sees movement in the shadows and a dude in a hooded cloak (not Illithid).
Taj teleports her, Tavist and Melchior next to the guy in the shadows. Dark green cloak/hood and neutral wardrobe, no visible weapons. Half elf.

Tavist = “This has got to stop… what do you want?”

“Excellent! The Traveller Kaolin has need of you!” He grabs them and disappears leaving Melchior.

Finn pilfers the ticket desk as he realizes the screens and people are all frozen.

Another man appears behind me and I try to flicker step behind him but he rides my ability. I drop to trip him but he steps over. He lowers his hand and says “You are needed!”

Non-descript clothes green cloak, looks like a normal Aasimar. I shake his hand with my Bracelet of Bargaining and can tell that he’s legit.

“What… me?” as he touches my shoulder and Kenari disappears.

Etsuriko Chia San Toraneko - Journal 28
IRL game dates: 2-25, 3-11, 3-25, 4-8, 4-22

Dear Anya,
It’s been a long while since I have had a moment to put pen to paper….so much has happened. But let me start with – your Uncle is fine. Between Kenari and I, he has been kept very safe and I promise to bring him back to you. Alive even.

After the vision at the temple and realizing we were in realm space, we got in contact with Taj Pach to explain that the sun was dimming there as a result of Illithid action – they were using the sun to power some kind of spell with the intent of killing a god – we weren’t sure – but Taj Pach sprung into command – summoning her fleet, getting the EIN and Githyanki involved and apparently just bossing the everyone in Tears into doing what she wanted. Fen convinces some priests of Ra to come along and we start making our way to the Tears along with our friends from beyond the Veil.

There is a lot – so I am going to sum it up a little. We get to the Tears – there is an Illithid dreadnought there sucking the sun’s power. It’s decided that Kattar will lead the fleet to attack causing a diversion. We – along with Tavist & Taj Pach are going straight to the dreadnought. Fen and Kenari are going to sneak around and plant bombs along the dreadnought’s tentacles to disable it, while the rest of us provide another distraction with a full assault.

It turns out when everyone puts their minds to it – we can get ridiculously buff. I appreciate having clerics and magic users to provide the extra oomph, I have to say. We all make our way over there and Fen & Kenari get to work planting bombs. An Illithid dreadnought is basically the horror-fest you’d expect. I’ll just say this – cranium rats. Millions of the damn things. It was a total nightmare. We lost sight of Tavist and Taj Pach for a bit – and sound too – but as usual – those two turned up carrying a random human and his gear. So we find ourselves eventually hanging on the outside of an Illithid dreadnought when a swarm of cranium rats come racing around the hull. I’m basically ready to leap into space when a ship swings over – it’s a green & yellow spelljammer and while we don’t recognize the pilot, we do recognize Klasath standing next to him. I jump over as fast as I can because I just cannot do rats. Tavist & Taj Pach cast fireballs in tandem and the smell of crispy rats fills the air. Two Illithid appear as we are trying to get away and Cosimir (our human pilot) decides to drive through on of the things as the tentacles on the dreadnought are erupting and everything is chaos. I get hit by the other Illithid and one of its tentacles latches on – but that’s a mixed blessing for it because now I am close enough to just beat on the damn thing. Total chaos at this point – Melchior is firing & hitting everything. Vedis is too. Kenari is zipping about attacking, moves Klasath and I into opposite positions – when all of us – at once are hit by a massive attack. Someone says there’s an elder brain on this dreadnought. Taj Pach is all for staying because she thinks she can kill it – but Klasath points out that there are likely to be 60 Illithid on this dreadnought so we agree to leave. How that bug hasn’t gotten everyone killed yet is beyond me.

The ship is listing – so Taj heads to the helm room to discover our human pilot had passed out and Kenari is on the helm. She is telling the ship to run away when something pulls it up short. Klasath yells that it is the elder brain again and Kenari asks the ship to plane shift away. The ship does so as the elder brain lashes out again. I am awake – along with Fen, Vedis, Taj Pach & Klasath. The ship has arrived near a small moon that orbits a planet about the size of Torrill. The planet is lit up – but there are no ships in the sky that we can see. Taj takes the helm from Kenari and Kenari checks her key. It says 4 now.

There’s no break though – Illithid ships appear in space – Taj heads down planet side to hide in the ocean since the ship has told her it can’t jump again for a whole day. We pass a ship on the ocean with smokestacks and a banner that reads “X Crawl Cruise – Final Destination Coney Island”. Whatever that means. We dive deep into the water and find – an Illithid city. Because of course we do. Taj turns off to the left and we are passed by a swarm of boarding ships – just when we think we are going to make it – 5 of them peel off to pursue. An Illithid appears in the helm room and fighting erupts as Taj is trying to outrun the Illithid boarding ships. The damn Illithid eventually explodes into nerve runners and Taj (who is trapped on the helm) screams at Tavist to cast a fireball. So he does. IN THE HELM ROOM. Kenari manages to jump out of the room with Fen. The spell doesn’t affect me – though poor Taj Pach has looked better. I leave the room cause tiny swarms are just really not my thing and I am not over the rats just yet. As everyone is trying to rid themselves of the slugs (thanks to Kenari for working out a way to do so) Taj is still trying to evade the boarding ships. Our ship is faster so she heads for the surface while charging the ship’s only weapon – as the ship breaches the water it discharges its electric tail weapon into the water behind and fries all of the Illithid vessels!

We land and start exploring. Every time the number on that key gets lower the place we are in is definitely stranger. There’s a giant statue of a human in a robe with a sword. As we are walking along – people ask us if we are an x-crawl team. Whatever that means. But this x-crawl thing is everywhere – giant signs on the walls that move. Pictures on the shirts people are wearing. Also, this place apparently loves its beer because there are lots of pictures of beer too. We could all definitely use a beer though. We do see a billboard of an Illithid in robes that says “have you been saved?” So that is ominous.

We are definitely lost and out of place here. We are getting lots of looks. I don’t think they have cat-folk here and Taj Pack seems pretty out of place too. Not any insects about that we’ve seen so far. We have a run in with some cops who are angry we have our weapons and then Klasath disappears with some guy in a green hood. Klasath comes and goes so that seems kind of normal. Then we approached by a colorfully dressed individual who is going on about a league and invites us to a bar. This guy is B-Ez. He is a native of this world and for some reason thinks we are all from Luxenborgh? I don’t even know what a Luxenborgh is Anya. He explains a lot of about this place and about the X-crawl pictures we’ve seen everywhere. And we are apparently interesting enough that he takes us under his wing (so to speak) and helps us. He doesn’t actually have wings. And while he’s speaking Common – I don’t think I get half of what he says. But he’s genuinely helpful and his hair is something else. He calls it “dreads”. He even gives us dinner – something called a “pizza roll” which almost kills poor Ef Utan (“Lava – you eat lava!”), but I think they are kind of tasty.

There’s some back & forth and something called an “audition” hosted by a ridiculous woman with a tiny dog thing that Taj Pach wants to eat, but eventually B-Ez gets us into this X-Crawl. We are going to go through a dungeon and the whole thing will be scryed around this planet on something called a TV where millions of people will be watching us. Oh and there will be people there watching live, too. B-Ez called us the SpellJoints and that is now our team name. And we have to be cool and have flair so the people scrying us will love us and we will get points or tickets or trophies? And Tavist is kind of upset because he can’t go. Neither can Taj Pach but she doesn’t seem to care.

I have to tell you Anya – I don’t know anymore why we do what we do. I don’t know how this gets us closer to destroying Illithid or saving the universe and there is a part of me that may not care anymore. Apparently we are going to be set loose in this dungeon and as much as I’ve refused over the years to participate in gladiatorial arenas – there is a part of me that is really ready to just let go and see how much carnage I can wreak.
Coney Island Crawl Part 2

Area I: II

20 Lenata
16 Vedis
13 Ef Utan
13 Etsuriko
11 Kenari
6 Fire Giant 85
5 Finn

Ef Utan – 5 min left of fly; frostband sundered and destroyed
Etsuriko – one fan destroyed, one -5 hp
Kenari – pirced through and thrown to the other side of the giant from the rest of the party.

We pick up next game at the top of round four of combat.

Let's Crawl!
Gnolls and Skeletons and Fire Giants, OH MY!

Squid Head is a Follower of Neptune – Mercury told Lenata that she has to be his follower here and she needs to cock block Squid Head.
Emporer George Augusts Civic Centerat 9am sharp – pick-up

DJ warns that Judge is volitle and tends to break the rules. He likes to be extra violent.

We hop aboard the bus with breakfast and coffee. Locks click on all the doors. Speakers along the roof blare the circus music. Lights go red and clowns converge on the bus around the block. We drive in the middle of a parade with inflatable monsters and ones in cages
on floats, sparklers, marching bands, etc until we get into a parking garage and see four other teams. Lady with board checks us in. She tosses 20 sided die to captains to roll to see who goes first. US

Security guy wands us all for illegal gear/buffs. Break Rooms for medics between rooms. Non-Com Badge = Non-Combatant – DON’T ATTACK. Awarded TICKETS at each room ending to spend in break rooms.


Green Room – chilly room with couches and security guards and a camera man and a chef – all a bit on the nervous side with a flustered producer and a huge Big Screen TV displaying cartoon logos.
Double Doors looking like a clown face’s teeth. A Commotion by the doors is noticed – the producer we auditioned for comes in and talks with the guy with the headset. He gets exasperated and summons the staff
as I can just pick up “Word came down from the face, he’s changed his mind and we’re starting with Door 2.”

The Circus Ringmaster introduces DJ Faces with fireworks and a clown tent with rising music. Dancers and acrobats come out behind him as he entertains the crowd.

Go through the door with the STAR after we get the keys.

We open the doors to an aluminum slide that decends and curves into darkness. I ever tell you how I invented Body Surfing?

We ride down the silde into a meadow with a red sign blinking Enter Here with a tent fluttering in the breeze. Flash of a small figure inside the tent.

We approach the tent and 20 feet away a human girl comes tearing out of the tent. HELP it’s going to kill everyone! as she bolts past us. She’s not wearing a non-com badge.

Fin fires his bow at her. – She loses her concentration as it expands and turns into a Annis Hag. I spring attack and strike. Vedis casts Haste. Ef throws a dagger at her. Etsuriko spring attacks and sickens the hag
for 4 rounds. Vedis gets hit and takes a 5ft step. Lenata casts Spiritual Weapon. NAT 20 -dbl dmg 2d6 cold (35dmg)
Kenari pounces on her back with her claws. Vedis does a hasted attack with mind blades and cuts arms and head off. Cheers from the crowd. Finn dedicates the first kill to the Lost Argonauts as Vedis falls on her ass trying to show off.

20 ft corridor that’s a dead end with a sign that says STAND HERE. The floor rises as a disc rises and blasting kaliope music and video screens showing us from different camera angles. Floor rings spin in different directions as Etsuriko jumps across to the Star Door with a lever.
Etsuriko pulls the lever down and a steel clamp pulls her arm into the wall – but she uses Freedom of Movement to slip out. Kenari flicker steps over and unlocks the door as Ef falls on the rings and waits for the door as he spins around.

Stirges burst out in a massive cloud from the doorway. I dodge most but get hit a few while Etsuriko smacks them away with her fan. Ef casts Diamond Spray at the swarm. Etsuriko waves at the crowd and closes the door to the stirges.

I hear a pair of voices like casual conversation. I open the door and stand back to see couches and clown portraits, etc. GREEN ROOM. Etsuriko sees scry cameras even in the green room.

Door opens and we’re blasted with cirus music and DJ Faces with a non-com badge. Two doors read Entrance and Exit. Challenge the Tunnel of Love, win glory and enter the actual dungeon! Swan Boat ala Tim Burton with 2 seats in 3 rows.

Kenari notices something moving in the water.
Len casts Mass Prot From Evil. On left is animatronic band of us singing a sad song called Love Hurts. DJ – What would a band be without groupies? Out charge a band of groupies in blonde wigs and dresses.
Band song changes into a battle dirge as they charge. We resist the baric fascinate as I throw Alchemist Fire (one on fire for 1 more d6 dmg) and Vedis throws her mind blades. Finn attempts to hide amonst the animatronics and look for the key.
Etsuriko engages gnolls with a Flurry of Blows with her Fans and disarms the gnoll from his baseball bat. Len casts Burst of Radiance and blinds the gnolls. Ef does a full attack with his longsword and cuts a gnoll in half.

Kenari full strikes the one she set on fire and hits it enough that it retreats towards the Safe Door and Vedis takes him out and the crowd boos at us. The gnolls attack Vedis and Kenari but miss wildly.
Etsuriko kills another Gnoll in monk fashion and gets applause. Lenata casts Web and gets 5 of the Gnolls for 10 minutes. Ef casts Spontaneous Immolation on the Gnoll in the middle of the Web. Flaming Web
causes 2d4 of Fire Damage. Gnoll swings around wildly as Kenari Cat Pounces onto his back and drives her claws into his back. Vedis changes her psionic focus to cold.

A gnoll runs away only to be swallowed up by an alligator. One searches in panic for his sword. Another is partially submerged as Kenari rips down his back. The last one panics and surrenders but as he runs
away he too gets eaten by an alligator. Etsuriko has had enough and since they don’t look like they want to fight anymore she waves and tells them all to “Git!”

Etsuriko gets attacked by an alligator that leaps out of the water at her but fumbles as we all get attacks of opportunity at it. Vedis pieces its kidneys with her mind blades, Kenari swipes it, Etsuriko punches it, and Ef crits it to finish it off, slicing it in half and cauterizing it.

A bell rings and we all have to get back on the duck. We all each grab an aluminum baseball bat as a souvenier as Finn gets back in.

The music changes to romantic violin music as we move through the tunnel. A large flatscreen mounted on the screen shows DJ Faces playing the violin. The decor changes to Walking Dead meets Disney.

We come into a large square room dimly lit with a cartoonish bajou. spooky animatronics of swamp folk with glowing eyes. The boat turns up towards the exit when to our immediate left a whirlpool begins to form in the water.
Vedis does a pre-emptive strike with a cold push. A Large Chuul (mutant crawfish) pops out of the whirlpool and hits Ef in the chest for 50 points of damage. Finn cowers and pulls his sword at the back of the boat.
Lenata casts Divine Intervention and causes one of the strikes against Ef to miss. Vedis casts Inflict Pain and gets her Surging Aura for 3 rounds (+1 attack/skills/etc)

Ef casts Lightning Bolt at it. I burn a Hero Point and am given a Mojo Point to acrobatically flip onto the back of the creature as I throw Quick Freeze Oil down it’s throat. After a moment it rumbles and the beast bloats and bursts. I leap off as
the layers of flesh pop off and the beast expands as the ice grows within it. Ef props it off of him with the bat and scoots his way out.

We get 50 TICKETS for defeating the beast in such a fashion as the crowd goes wild. The boat goes on again till we have another side area in the tunnel with a ledge. Three figures look like skeletons with
their internal organs intact sitting on pillars. Ef casts Blade Tutor Spirit on himself. I hit Ef with the Cure Serious Wand. One of the pillars launches the skeleton at our boat and attacks Vedis. a 5 ft long barbed tongue lashes out of it’s mouth at her and just misses
as it lands on the boat. Ef attempts to leap onto the ledge but crit fails and lands in the water. I throw Holy Water on one on the pillar and it splashes on the other. Lenata channels Positive Energy.
Etsuriko does a Flurry of Blows on the skeleton on the duck with her fans as the crowd cheers and chants “Blood Fist” as she yells out “I can do this all day!”

Finn cowers and holds up a handful of holy symbols trying to ward them off.

Another pillar launches and lands on the duck and makes a tongue attack at Lenata that hits her for a Fort Save. Another hits me with its tongue but I make my Fort save and take 6 POINTS.

USED: 1 Holy Water, 1 Quick Freeze Oil, 1 Alchemist Fire, Wand Charges (2), Touchsight Tattoo
Scroll of Lesser Restoration

Mojo Points – 12

Vedis hits one of the ones on the boat for a hit and a crit knocking it prone. Ef just barely gets missed by an aligator. He stands up in the water and takes a swipe at the prone skeleton. I stab at the prone one.

Lenata casts Burst of Radiance. The 3rd one leaps towards the boat but explodes in pieces and covers us on the boat as the crowd roars. Etsuriko attacks with her glowing fans and cuts the 2nd skeleton into three pieces as the crowd roars. Vedis bisects the last one as it tries to get up and Ef cuts the pieces into other pieces.

Kenari flicker steps over to the ledge to search the pillars. No keys, traps or whatnot. Vedis sees a smiling goldfish trailing our boat. She doesn’t trust it and throws a dagger at it and misses as it blows her a kiss.

The boat curves around the bend as the tracks in the water stop. Stairs rise out of the water to a passage and a flashing red light in the distance. I try to check the stairs for traps as I move up but miss the switch as an iron spiked ball swings down and nails me for
18 points of damage and 4 points of DEX damage.

Ef casts fly, picks me up and moves me to Lenata, and picks up Finn to check the traps in the air. He doesn’t find any, so Ef flies everyone up to the top of the stairs. Vedis gives me a potion of Lesser Resto to heal the DEX damage.

Flashing red light room with smoke as Etsuriko cautiously moves into the room with her fans. A large screen of natural disasters, volanoes, executions, etc plays. A ceiling mounted rack of speakers and fog machines spew smoke.

Lenata casts Aura Sight and detects a pair of sizable auras in the room with us. 18-20 foot tall CE humanoids around the 10-12 HD each.

Lenata casts spiritual weapon. Vedis uses Inertial Armor. Leadership Surge +1
Ef Utan uses a potion of Bull Strength. Etsuriko attacks but misses. I activate my tattoo and see that they are Fire Giants as I activate my tattoo and flcker step across the room.

The Fire Giant attacks Ef Utan 3 times and his Frost Brand flickers and sputters as it is chopped in half! The other one hits Etsuriko and hacks one of her fans into pieces as she curses in Shou.

Lenata casts Shield of Faith. Vedis uses a Surge Blast. Ef attacks and stuns/off balances one.

Kenari leaps on the other one and Plane Shifts it into the Plane of Water and shifts back soaking wet sans giant. There’s silence as the crowd stares and then slow claps that rise in applause as the other Fire Giant
smacks me with a crit as it impales me and throws me against the wall bleeding.

Coney Island Crawl - Part 1

Finished in Area I-6
Mid combat with a pack of gnolls, who, along with their armor and aluminum baseball bats, wear oversized dresses and blonde wigs.

On a platform just outside the force wall, veteran Xcrawl bard / singer Violet “Tiger Beat” Minnelli continues to rock out, even though the Spelljointz have all saved against her bardic music.

Start fresh at the top of the round
4 minutes remaining of protection from evil

22 Kenari
20 Vedis
18 Fin
17 Gnoll x 6 (28, 22 disarmed, 42, 42, 42, 42) blinded 1 more round
12 Etsuriko
12 Lenata
6 Ef Utan
2 Gnoll x 6 (43,43,43,43,43) blinded 1 more round

X-Crawl Tryouts
The Spelljoints

We’re standing by the Illithid billboard when a tiny child runs up and tugs the sleeve of Melchior. “Look away child” he says as he covers the child’s eyes from the billboard. The child immeditately fanboys over us being an X-Crawl team as Kenari checks
her wallet reflexively.

“Where are your parents little one?” Vedis asks as she bends down to her. The child points out her parents as Vedis tries to get their attention to come get their kid. She sees a short skinny hawkfaced
sour looknig woman looking around through the crowd. A pair of cops catty-corner to us are eyeballing us. Half a block a way at the street corner she sees Brendan’s character, a tall dusky and fashionably
dressed guy with fancy shoes – a Jammer (rockerboy). Vedis lifts up the child and walks her over to the sour looking woman. The mom shrieks and takes the child in thanks.

The Jammer walks up and introduces himself and asks us to bring him along with whatever illegal plans we’ve got as a fan comes up to him and he signs autographs. We look at him quizzically and ask him if
he knows anything about the Illithid Preacher. He mentions that he doesn’t know much but they are known to be rigging X-Crawl matches. He mentions that Lenatta shouldn’t wear relgious trappings or else get in trouble.
He tells us about X-Crawl and immigration and the American Emporer and we get the impression that we should definitely be an X-Crawl team. Tavist casts Silent Table. He orders drinks and Ef pours him a drink of his own.

“Nah Marshall, you’re good.”
“Not Marshall, Melchior.”

Not religion illegal per se… it’s other people’s religions that are the problem. Lenata should call Celestian Mercury instead while we’re here.

He explains X-Crawl to us as Kenari thinks it would be a win-win if we made money and defeat the Illithids at the same time. Think of the money we could make if we made the right kind of bet!

Finn recognizes the sponsor patches on the Jammer’s coat and asks about them. He sets us up with an assistant to help with drinks, measurements, etc. Finn discusses contracts with Jammer.

Etsuriko notices a commotion up by the bar where the TV is and bumps Ef Utan to take a look at it. “Why are they so upset over there?”

Breaking News! – With the crawl 3 days away on the weekend, there was a subway accident that took out the “Lost Argonauts” team.

K – So what are the rules so we know if we’re breaking them or not?

EZ offers to take us back to his place for practice sessions and video tapes. Psionics are a no-go as you can cheat and influence refs with that shit. Just say it’s magic, yo.

Finn discovers a Polaroid camera and spends night taking selfies and dick picks.

EZ’s manager will arrange a meeting with the Adventurer’s Guild so we can try out for the X-Crawl.

We discuss money exchange. Ef offers one Trade Bar in exchange.

We camp out in the basement and Lenata has a weird night sleep dreaming and pleading for spells from the god Mercury instead of Celestian.

Morning – EZ plans on taking us on a meeting to Jennifer the Producer on trying to get us in as a replacement team for the Lost Argonauts. “Wow me”

Taj disintegrates the desk. “IS THAT THE ONLY SPELL YOU KNOW?!?”

Finn as she asks “What’s the issues?” We’ll see you later as I think about the possibilities of money in this situation.

DUNGEON BOOTS – mildly enchanted.

A courier arrives with a “Be here in 2 hours” note to head out to the Dragonlands in an RV.

The producer arrives with some flunkies outside the wall with rolling hills and a treeline. We’re away from buildings and capital damage. Show me what you’ve got. We show off and she takes notes.
“We’ll get back to you.”

EZ- that’s well and good, but we need some team building exercises!

A courier arrives that night and says we’ll solve a couple of problems and spin some PR. Make money and problems can be overlooked for a time. We’ll give you a shot at Division I. You owe me, EZ!

K – Who do we need to talk to to lay bets down on us? Tavist and Finn lay down trade bars. Kenari lays down 1.000 gp. Taj offers to bankroll the cat as she likes her pluck.

Best can be done is a standard sized team: Taj and Tavist will be in the stands watching, everyone else in the team.

The Spelljoints Team!

Let's be TV stars!
X-Crawl World

We steer away from the Illithid city attempting to be stealthy as we see smaller Illithid ships (4-crew) in a swarm coming in towards the city. Klassath says they’re boarding craft with golems, intellect devourers, etc that latch onto ships and bore through them to board them. Never seen a cluster this big though.
He feels a light telepathic touch sort of like their radar. Taj attempts to fly casual. They pass but as the tail end passes 5 of them peel off to attack our ship.

Taj punches it – purple mist forms on the bridge and an emaciated illithid shows up on the bridge in pants and garb. Vedis strikes him with a sonic energy push but misses as he dodges and aims a kick at Taj
in the pilot seat. Ef and Kenari shoot him with pistols as Etsuriko moves in to attack hand to hand. Lenata casts Burst of Radiance. Etsuriko recognizes the Illithid as a monk evoking Corrosive Fist.
He goes to strike Taj and hits the back of the helm and falls on his face as he crit fails and we all whoop on him. Etsuriko punches him through his head. Lenata casts gentle repose but it causes the body to
thrash around as Vedis uses her mind blades to cut it’s head off. The body explodes in a shower of slugs (nerve swimmers).

Tavist casts Fireball. I grab Finn and teleport to a lower level. Lenata and Finn teleport down to the lower level. Klassath does a whirling attack with his chain blades in the swarm. Taj does a cold energy push.

On the floor below – Finn stashes four of the most expensive bottles of alcohol from the ships stash and hands a bottle to Kenari for “teleportation fee.” I hop back up to the bridge and uses port powers
to remove the slugs from everyone.


The ship breaks the surface and Lenata casts Obscuring Mist as the ship fires its lightning gun at the ships in the water. Kenari reloads her guns as Klassath cleans up the slug mess on the bridge.
All 5 of the ships are ripped to pieces by the electrical surge and sink back into the water. Off to the left in the distance we see land and a really tall statue. Taj tries to console the ship into finding land for us.
Statue is a figure in roman robes holding aloft a sword like a statue of liberty. A number of ships are around the small island with the statue. We park under water and anchor the ship and crawl up out of the water onto the island.

Kenari puts on a cloak, Klassath and Vedis a hood. Predom human with a smattering of orcs and elves and shortfolk. Kenari tries to speak with them but can’t seem to communicate. Tavist talks to them and they
look at us in amazement asking them if we’re X-Crawl teams. I listen to Tavist and her talk and figure out they’re talking Helenic/Latin. We get on the tour boat and come back to Manhattan with brownstone
buildings and posters of X-Crawl. TVs with X-Crawl and temples to Roman Gods everywhere. We discuss the possibility of becoming an X-Crawl team in order to fit in when we turn a corner and see a billboard of a Mindflayer Priest on a billboard “Have you been saved?”

As we’re walking Taj gets a weird feeling of deja vu. Klassath notices a guy on the other side of the street with a green hood/cloak – figure disappears and suddenly when we were going one way we’re suddenly a block to the right and going the opposite way.

I think about flicker stepping back there but change my mind (failed Will save). We get stopped by cops who warn us about weapons wielded in the open as Finn and attempts to bribe the cops. We make our
way to Union Center and Apollo Studios. As we’re talking we see a figure with a green hooded cloak appear in the crowd and grab Klassath’s shoulder as they disappear. Could that be the chronomancer?

Enter Klassath and Kassamir

Taj attempts to Disintegrate a whole in the wall so they can leave. Kenari falls through the hole and lands face to face with the unconscious dude. “Collecting friends? We need to get out of here before the rats show up.”
“Well they want him, so therefore I want him.” Taj. Tavist and Kenari are wracked with psychic pain as Vedis leans in. “Sorry I was busy with the rats. Are we leaving now?”

The rats start to come out towards us on the hull. A large number of Elven ships engaged with Illithids and a green/yellow Smalljammer zipping towards us through the battle.


Interior of the Smalljammer (Klassath and Kassamir)

“What the hell is a sex Midget? I thought it was an action figure!”

“Well technically they’ve got action…”

K: Hey look over there, guys clinging outside the Dreadnaught!

Do they look like they’re screaming? If they’re not screaming it’s not that dramatic.

Well we current hear them anyway we’re in space.

No, we’re in a ship! They look like they’ve got it under control. Pass the whiskey!

I will once we pick them up…


Tavist and Taj fly out of the hole and cast Fireball at the Cranium Rats. Vedis casts an Energy Push (fire) at the rats.


The Smalljammer pulls up and we see Klassath and Kasamir (Page of Spheres). Klassath hands him the bottle and runs out on the bow ready to kill some Illithid.

Kenari drags the body out of the hole and says “Why are we still here? Aren’t we leaving?”

Vedis ghost steps onto the ship and says hi. “We’d love some assistance! Thank you!”

Tavist, Finn, Vedis, and Etsuriko jumps over to the ship. “This bottle is absolutely half empty!”

3 Illithids levitate up from the balcony and stop 20 ft higher than the hull. MIND BLAST 3 PTS OF NON-LETHAL DAMAGESHAKEN (-1) FOR 3 ROUNDS

Melchior leaps across to the hull of the Smalljammer and clings to the side before shooting one of the Illithids and missing.

Tavist casts a Lightning Bolt at the Illithids and then throws the unconscious body to Ef Utan who hops over to the ship with Lenata.

Klassath defies gravity and prepares to attack the Illithids.

Kenari Dimension Doors over to the ship when Black Tentacles errupt around the deck of the Smalljammer. “That was a spell from them. Alhouns”

Kassamir – Hey Ship, I bet you can’t run over those Illithids! This is your captain speaking, looks choppy, fasten your chastity belts as it’s going to be a bumpy flight!"

Two Illithids bounce off to the side but one of them doesn’t and takes ramming damage (bug on the windshield) and caves in the top part of the hull of the Dreadnaught and pissed off his own ship.

Kenari and Etsuriko hear Kasamir arguing with the ship as the others are dealing with Black Tentacles. Etsuriko does a Spring Attack back to the Dreadnaught ship and attacks the remaining Illithids.

The 3rd Illithid waves his hand and disappears from view. Tavist can tell he’s casting Greater Invisibility (arcane) Taj casts Greater Dispel Magic as a reaction. He then shoots 60ft straight up.
Taj casts Lightning Bolt with Breath of the Dragon combined.

Finn attacks the tentacles around him with his Acid Burst sword but they grow back pretty quickly. Vedis throws her mind blade at one of the Illithids. Melchior shoots the bottom Mind Flayer repeatedly.

Tavist flies up to attack the bottom Illithid. Klassath dimension doors to flank the Illithid with Etsuriko. Etsuriko gets grabbed be one of the Illithid tentacles.

Kenari uses Benign Transposition to free Vedis from the Black Tentacles.

Kasamir tries to maneuver the ship over the action, but inverted so that we can fire at the Illithids. But he rolls a 1.

Klassath notices the ship move by and wonders how he learned how to drive?

Illithid starts to cast. Tavist can tell he’s casting Plane Shift but there’s something weird about it. Taj attempts to Dispel Magic again while Tavist takes an attack of opportunity and crits with a Keen Rapier.

Taj casts Cranial Deluge on the bottom Illithid.

Finn attempts to move below decks away from the tentacles.

Kasamir points to the windshield with a rag towards Ef as he flies by.

Veids Ghost Steps over to the Illithid attacking Etsuriko and attacks him with her Mind Blades for a crit thanks to her surging euphoria. A dazzling flash of light goes off in the Illithids face as she crits him.
Melchior shoots repeatedly for 3 hits and one crit – double damage and knocks Illithid prone falling to the deck. Tavist attacks the prone Illithid with 2 crits and 1 fumble. x2 damage + Bleed, then x3 damage and 1 CON.
He then lost his balance and for 3 rounds he’s -2 to AC. Bottom Illithid is DEAD. Taj = “I was going to blow his brain up!”

Klassath does a full attack on the top Illithid with his bladed chain. Kenari switches places with Etsuriko and Klassath as his chains continue to spin and he takes the head off of the Illithid. She then passes
the bottle over to Kassamir. Everybody gets a headache 4 POINTS NON-LETHAL as the pilot passes out from a Mind Surge.

Taj asks Klassath how many Illthid crew one would expect on a ship like this. Usually powered by an Elder Brain with somewhere between 10-60 Illithid and 1k-2k thralls. (6 killed so far)
Taj wonders if we go for taking out the Mind Flayers or should we leave?

Finn looks for rags or bedsheets so he can clean the windshield and finds a lavish bedroom. NOT THE SHEETS! He finds a wet towel that we joke isn’t from water.

Kenari stabilizes the ship as Kasamir wakes up mumbling “Oh what did Finn do?” “If anybody is going to fly the ship they should be aware there’s more liquor underneath the seat.”

Kenari shares the tale of how Finn wooed the captain of the last ship we commandeered by locking himself in the bedroom for sexy times with the captain.

Klassath makes a will save and can tell something is trying to rifle through his brain. Kenari steps on the gas and flies the ship away as fast as possible but then the ship gets yanked up short by something.
“It’s not my fault!”

Klassath: This is the Elder Brain. We need to go!

Kenari: I ask the ship real nice-like to plane shift. I get a vision of zooming down between the branches of the Yggdrasil and a female catfolk monk falling with Hadogee profanity and Violetta cursing a blue streak.

Another mental attack – Finn and Vedis and Taj and Etsuriko and Klassath are still standing.

For a moment everything goes purple outside the ship and we come out of it feeling weird – more like a sidewise shift in time. Those still standing look outside the window and we’re in orbit around a planet
that looks like Torril. The planetary locator says it’s a solar centric system with 11 planets total. We’re half-way between the planet and the moon. Functional sun and no dreadnaughts anywhere.

Vedis tends to Kenari as Cassamir strokes his beard and mutters “Not the right time.”

Taj gets on the pilot seat and tries bonding with the ship.

Kenari rifles through her bag for some aspirin from her alchemical kit and checks the Dimensional Key to see that the number has now changed to FIVE.

Taj communicates with the ship and detects 7 Illithid Nautiloids coming our way. She tries to convince the ship we need to go. It can’t jump again for another 24 hours.

Kenari has a really bad ear-ache and drinks more.

Taj suggests we hide the ship in the ocean – We go for it and pass a ship with a trio of smoke stacks. The name on the ship is Poseidon’s Glory and banner on one side that’s red with images of guys in gear riding a weird carriage like a roller coaster with a red dragon attacking. “X-Crawl Cruise, destination Cony Island.”
Taj continues down looking for a trench to hide in. We pick up on some bioluminescence and stretched out across the trench Klassath identifies an Illithid City.

“You bastard!”

Why does it have to be rats?
Game Notes 03/11/2022

Taj and Tavist disappear along with two Mind Flayers. Down to 1 Brain Golem and 2 Mind Flayers (one slightly larger).

Etsuriko attacks the Brain Golem three times and disembowls the Brain Golem. Will saves required as Mind Flayers attack – Lenata ok, Etsuriko ok Ef ok Vedis ok Melchior ok (3 hp dmg and Shaken)
Vedis uses Dazzling Blade Discharge and attacks Mind Flayer with Sardier’s Fang and Mind Blade off-weapon. One of the Mind Flayers is Blinded as Ef takes an Attack of Opportunity with his Flame Tongue.
Vedis smacks the Mind Flayer multiple times and discharges a psychic strike. Melchior shoots at the damaged one multiple times and blows away it’s shoulder. Lenata attacks the damaged one with her
Spiritual Weapon. Ef attacks the damaged Mind Flayer with Flame Tongue and Adamantium Dagger that crits the Mind Flayer and throws him back 20 ft as it squishes against the wall and dies.

Will saves again – Ef ok Len ok Mel no (unconscious) Vedis no (unconscious) Etsuriko ok (3hp dmg – Shaken)

Mind Flayer casts Chain Lightning on Melchior that hits Ef Utan.

Finn and Kenari set 3/5 charges so far and haven’t seen anything outside on the hull. We get the feeling that we’re being watched, however. As we’re sneaking by we peer through one of the windows and there’s a row of cells with figures in them.
A blonde with glasses in a jumpsuit in one of the cells.

Off in the distance Finn sees space combat and a trio of Elven Warbirds against a phalanx of Illithid nautiloids. Finn tries to send it via message but it’s no longer in effect.
We’ll be done with the charges in two rounds.

Tavis and Taj are in a spherical room somewhere briefly before she tries to redirect it but ends up back in the room. Tavist sees a trap door and the remains of a scorch mark on the floor. From a laser pistol, or some other technology.
Tavist checks the door for traps (no) but it’s locked and he disables the thought trigger as it irises open and a ladder goes down to a platform with a rail – Tavist activates the plaform that drops slowly
to a large hallway with bubble chambers, many of them empty, but 5-6 of them still inabited extending about 80’. The deeper they get into the ship the warmer and more humid it gets. Taj checks them out but
it looks more like holding cells than life pods.

Etsuriko attacks the Brain Golem with bare fists. Vedis uses a HERO POINT to wake up and Inflicts Pain against the Mind Flayer.
Lenata – “Close your eyes!” She casts Burst of Radiance that blinds the Mind Flayer for one round.
The remaining Illithid pops out as Etsuriko attacks the remaining Brain Golem and pummels it into pudding.
Melchior wakes up. “Ouch!”

Vedis goes to the door and tries to find a way to open it.

We finish setting the charges and move toward the balcony and find the rest of the group.

Taj tries to Message Finn and Vedis – We’re fine but lower down. We’ll rendevou at where we think the Elder Brain might be.

Vedis checks the door. Looks like a Psionic Lock. I open the lock and the doors open to an almost waist high wall of mammals/rats with exposed brains swarm into the room.
Kenari drops an Alchemist Fire and Dimension Doors back up to the balcony. Will saves – Vedis is down again. Mind Blast as the Cranial Rats attack.
Ef casts Fireball and Lenata casts Diamond Spray.

Finn tries to climbs up to the balcony with Kenari and Etsuriko but fails, so he lays down some fire between him and the swarm.
Melchior barely claws his way up to the balcony. Kenari lowers a rope down for Finn and Lenata and Vedis who take damage from rat bites.
Vedis Ghost Steps up to the balcony. “Nope!” and then uses a Fire Energy Push against the swarm.

Etsuriko checks our perimiter to make sure we’re not being snuck up on. As she looks out she hears the crack of the bombs going off. The forward bunch of tentacles snap off and the ship lurches.
Finn and Lenata fall on their asses as everyone else keeps their feet. The lighting in the room switches to dark maroon light. Ef activates his Fly spell and moves outside the door into a larger chamber.
Lenata casts fly to follow Ef. Finn climbs up the rope to the balcony. Melchior drinks a healing potion.

Taj and Tavist – They get to another sealed doorway. Smaller chamber 20’ round with a single pod here. Skinny human with blonde hair and glasses and a jumpsuit.
Tavist slams his fist against the pod. “Who are you?” Dude is out cold. Tavist disables the pod to open it up. A patch of wall opens up to a drawer 6 ft wide.
Tavist finds a device that looks like a weapon with a coil and a backback style straps to it. “Of course I take the thing!” He picks up the guy and throws him over his shoulder.

Taj tells Finn where they are and Kenari says “Hey, I know where that is! Let’s go on the outside of the hull and get to them!”

Tavist shoots the window/bubble with his laser pistol but it doesn’t go through.

Kenari leads the others to where she saw the bubble with the blonde guy.

Ef and Lenata see no end to the rats as they enter from multiple points. They fly back into the room and see everyone gone. As they’re about to fly up through the hole when a massive cloud of jaws forms around
them and does 20 pts dmg.