Campaign of the Month: April 2011

Planejammer: The Spelljoined

Kenari's Journal Part 12

"All hail the conquering bitches!"

Journal bar kenari

Illustration by Syreene
Unfortunately the gods have rearranged our plans once again (with no warnings – the nerve!). On our way home we encountered a rather unfortunate Gnome Tinkership under fire by none other than The Frostfire, a ship that just happened to be on our bounty list.

Remembering our last encounter with people on that list, we decided to be a bit more sneaky this time and boarded the Frostfire via ropes while most of their crew were busy on the Sidewheeler. We promptly cut the ropes belonging to their own boarding party and went about taking down the pirates left on the ship with some well placed ammo and a rather commendable leap from Ef Utan on one of the offending crewman (I wonder how I can get Lenata of Celestian to jump next?).

I immediately call “DIBS!” on a rather interesting sword that one of them was waiving about before I shot him in the shoulder. It looks a little big for me to wield… but it doesn’t mean I don’t want to look at it first. I’ve never seen a sword with a gun in the handle… I simply MUST investigate this later.

I can’t help but double-take as I see a flailing pirate shoot above my head and off into space. What in goodness name are they doing now? I look over the side at the Gnomish ship with a raised brow and can’t help but snicker as I watch the pirates use the catapult to launch another of their crew at their ship. Heh… they should get stronger ropes next time.

One well-placed Thunderstone later and we’re clearing out the remaining crew from below decks while Simi runs off to undoubtably look for something it can stuff in its mouth. I roll my eyes at the space monkey… lizard… whatever… and start looking for rooms to loot for goodies and information.

Well… this isn’t exactly what I was looking for, but it will do. While I didn’t find any goodies in the first room I checked, I found something even more interesting: a captive wizard strapped to a helm and pleading that we don’t blow up the ship.

Aww… and here I was enjoying seeing Vedis Valentine‘s chaotic side come out. I guess we’ll have to tell her not to fire the ship’s weapons at the deck after all. Thankfully Ef Utan Izenik is available to do that… because I’ve got something new to try my skills on: A Lifehelm.

Apparently this wizard isn’t just_ strapped _in… he’s bolted, tied and trapped in in the chair too. I walk into the room and whistle in appreciation as I take in the alien inscriptions and complicated mechanisms.

“Have you ever unlocked one of these before?” the wizard asks worriedly as he stretches his neck to try and look at me.

“Nope… never seen one of these before in my life,” I say matter-of-factly before I crack my knuckles and kneel down and start with the first locks. “But there’s a first time for everything, right?”

I keep the wizard talking to me (turns out his name is Ayrun Sorpic) about how he got here while I let my fingers work a magic all their own. “Who’s the cat?” I stand up and cheer as the last lock pops open and nothing explodes.

Damn… everybody is busy doing something else. At least my new friend is here to appreciate my skills. Unfortunately that’s about all he’s got the strength to do, as apparently this Lifehelm was built to suck the life out of wizards to power the ship. I help him out on deck as I see that the others have been busy with loading the Frostfire bounty onto a cargo net lowered from our ship. After some quick introductions, we proceed below decks to look for any other loot as well as Ayrun Sorpic’s missing equipment.

Once the rooms have been throughly looted and everything has been loaded onto the ship, we decide to drop in on the rest of the pirates stuck on the Gnomish Sidewheeler. We decide it best to go down invisible… so I ride on the back of Ef Utan Izenik, while Ayrun Sorpic rides down with Vedis Valentine.

Unfortunately… once again… it’s like the gods stepped in and said “No… I don’t think so.”

We manage to get about 1/2 way down when the Gnomish Sidewheeler blows up in a cloud of wood shrapnel, fire, and… what is that smell… fur? Unfortunately checking to see if my tail is on fire has to wait as all my attention is quickly focused on keeping a hold of the rope that is suddenly bucking like a mad camel. I wrap the rope around my wrist and hiss in pain as I hold on to Ef Utan Izenik with the other. Did I mention he wears heavy armor? I think my shoulder is going to be sore for a week, at least.

Once we’re able to get back aboard we’re able to look around and notice that the others weren’t so lucky and are now floating in space. Well… they don’t have a grappling hook and rope like I did, so the next best thing is to give them one. I tie some rope to one of Ef Utan Izenik’s arrows and he takes aim in the hopes that the rope will pass by close enough for them to grab. After a few attempts (and me biting my tongue not to suggest he shoot them in the leg since he has experience at that), they are finally able to grab the rope and rejoin the rest of us.

I lean over the rail and look at the debris that was once the Gnomish Sidewheeler. “Sorry guys… you’d probably have been better off if the Elven Fleet found you instead of us. We’ll be sure to make them pay, though,” I mutter.

We may not have gone shopping, but we definitely came across some interesting new things, though. With the help of Ayrun Sorpic and Vedis Valentine I do my best to appraise and identify everything we grabbed while Lenata of Celestian takes our ship back to Braal to report our encounter. I remain on the Frostfire with Ayrun Sorpic as he uses a back-up helm that we found to follow.


  • 400gp, 200sp, 300cp
  • 900gp in gems
  • 1/2 dozen paintings worth between 400-500gp
  • Tapestry – 200gp
  • (3) Bolts of silk – 1,000gp
  • 1,500 gp
  • Hand-carved ivory figurines
  • chest full of odd rocks
  • Ring of Sustenance
  • Tapestry (aura of illusion magic)
  • 6-8 scorched smoky crystals (turns out they’re used Ioun Stones)
  • Erotic Painting (enchanted) – 1,500gp
  • Anti-Scrying Curtains
  • “Wizard Chess” Chess Set
  • (3) +1 Daggers
  • (5) Repeating Crossbows
  • Mars Blade (that interesting gun/sword I called dibs on)

In a locked desk on the ship we also found a note discussing “arrangments made on Bral” and a hand-drawn star map plotting the path of the Gnomish Starwheeler.

Once we get to Braal and disembark from our ship, we can’t help but overhear some members of the Elven fleet commenting on “viscious bitches.”

“That’s right,” I say proudly as we stroll past them. “All hail the conquering bitches!”

After a debriefing by the fleet on Bral and some compliments from the soldiers, we regroup to decide what to do next.

“How about I meet you guys at the Laughing Beholder in an hour?” I say as I stuff the chess set into my bag and grab the rather …um… detailed erotic painting. “I’m going to get some things identified by the Seekers, and see if I can sell this painting to one of the brothels here before it gets us ALL into trouble!”


Dungeon_Master_Loki Kenari_Sanura