Still in the Flow. Still not dreaming. I hate this place. I can’t use fire, can’t dream, and can’t die from spacing myself to alleviate the boredom. Some times I wish I hadn’t stopped drinking absynthe so I could have SOME means of escaping these long trips. Waking hallucinatory dreams are better than no dreams at all. I think I’m losing my mind.
I’ve taken out the letter Ef gave me to read almost every day. I can’t help myself. It bothers me that I can’t… just… forget about it the way I did with those two elves. Or with that nameless lovely man who made my night all those weeks ago before we left on this miserable journey.
I’ve been bothering Lenata constantly with “Are we there yet?” inquiries. I think she might snap one day. Could be fun.
My quarters get so lonely at night, even with Simmi there to entertain/distract/infuriate me. I’ve gotten bored of rolling around in my gold coin collection. I thought that could never get old.
The waiting is KILLING me. I’m about to head on deck to try to see what I can do to stir things up.